Now there's a word that I don't understand

I hear it every day from my old man

It may be Cockney rhyming slang

It ain't in no school book

He says it every time that he gets mad

A regular caution is my old dad

Rub the old man up the wrong way bet your life you'll hear him say

Gertcha cowson gertcha

Gertcha

When the kids are swinging on the gate

Gertcha

When the paperboy's half an hour late

Gertcha

When the pigeons are pecking at his seed

Gertcha

When the farmer

Starts digging up his weeds

Gertcha

Gertcha cowson gertcha

Bar stool preaching

That's the old man's game

Now the old man was a Desert Rat

Khaki shorts and a khaki hat

How me mother could have fancied that

I just don't know

But when the enemy came in sight

They gave up without a fight

They rubbed him up the wrong way

This is what they heard him say

Gertcha cowson gertcha

Gertcha

When me rock and roll records wake him up

Gertcha

When the Poles knock England out of the cup

Gertcha

When the kids are banging on his door

Gertcha

When the barman won't serve him any more

Gertcha cowson gertcha

Bar stool preaching

He's always been the same

Piano solo

Gertcha cowson gertcha

Gertcha

When the dog's left a message on the step

Gertcha

Lester Piggott when he lost it by a neck

Gertcha

When me brother kicks the toes out of his shoes

Gertcha

When the houseflies are flying round his food

Gertcha cowson gertcha

Bar stool preaching

He's always been the same

Gertcha

Gertcha

Gertcha

Gertcha

Gertcha

When me mother says he can't go down the pub

Gertcha

Sister's boyfriend put his sister up the club

Gertcha

When the tomcats when they're kicking up a din

Gertcha

Tottenham Hotspur couldn't get one in

Gertcha

When me mother locks him out of the flat

Gertcha

When it's raining and he can't find his hat

Gertcha

In the mornings when his motorcar won't go

Gertcha

Next door neighbour when he won't give him a tow

Gertcha

Gertcha

Gertcha

Gertcha